Continuing my thoughts about experiences of fathers, and the Fatherhood of God, – I have often spent time with Kate, a friend, for whom the whole subject of her father brings back very painful memories. When she was 10 her father left the family to start a new relationship, moving 250 miles away to make a fresh start. Nowadays many parents who separate work hard at sharing care of their children and both remain involved in their care, education and health. At the time that Kate’s dad left it was very much a one parent or the other arrangement, and a few summer holiday visits to his new family did not go well so she chose to cease contact as soon as she was deemed old enough to do so. News that her father had had other affairs, leading to yet more hurting women and children, left her in a very low place.
Sadly, Kate’s first husband left her when she was expecting her first child. Fatherhood seemed to be all about abandonment but she was supported by her mother who knew just what it felt like. Healing came later in a second relationship with a man who was not only faithful to her but also a loving stepfather to her son.
For people who go through such traumatic experiences of abandonment by their parents, relating to a God who wants us to turn to him as Father can never be easy. It is only through studying how God has related to his people in the Bible, and looking at the life and death of Jesus, that someone who has been so hurt can begin to grasp that the God who created the world also wants to have a loving relationship with his people.
In the Old Testament we see God primarily relating to the Jewish nation and to their leaders, showing his saving power when they are suffering in Egypt, and his provision for their needs in the desert as they gather manna and quails for food. In the New Testament the relationship becomes much closer as God sends his Son to demonstrate his nature and his longing to save his people from their sins. If we want to experience the love of God as a caring, redeeming father we have to encounter his Son Jesus as he dies on the cross. That act of redemption is the total opposite of abandonment – there is no length that God will not go to save his children.
John 3 verse 1
” See how much the Father has loved us. His love is so great that we are called God’s children – and so in fact we are”.
John 3 v16
For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life”.
Prayer: Thank you Father God that you did not abandon us when we were lost, but sent your Son Jesus to reveal your nature and die on the cross for us. Whatever our experience of parenting has been, that redeeming love is there for us, if we can only accept it. Amen