As I am writing this thought for Holy Week, I am continuing to think about the way Jesus was let down by his disciples in his most testing and agonising last hours before his crucifixion.
Following Judas’ exit from the Last Supper meal Jesus sings a hymn with his disciples and they go to the Mount of Olives, entering the Garden of Gethsemane in the dark. He asks them to ” watch and pray” and goes a short way from them to pray to His Father. This is His time of acute mental anguish when their prayer support would have meant so much to him, but its been a long day and they can’t stay awake. It’s not just a failure of being unable to stay awake and succumbing to much needed sleep though. They have failed to really listen to Jesus and understand what he has been trying to tell them for so long. If they had realised just how serious a moment this was they could have paced up and down to try to stay awake, but they let Jesus down, though not in the deliberate way that Judas had done.
Then comes his arrest, Peter’s desperate attempt to support his master by cutting off the High Priest’s servant’s ear, and then all the disciples except Peter run away. We are not told where they go – perhaps back to their lodgings in Jerusalem to bolt the doors in terror of arrest, or to hide in the dark rocky places on the Mount of Olives in fear for their Master?
I can identify with the dropping off to sleep bit. I’m good at falling asleep just about anywhere, but I think with greater sorrow of the times I have failed to really listen to people who have told me important things about themselves, and the times I have heard what they have said on 1 level, but have failed to think more deeply about the significance for them of what they have shared. Most of us are better at talking than listening.
And then there is Peter. The only disciple brave enough to follow Jesus to the High Priest’s house, but desperate to remain incognito, hiding in the background, concerned about what is happening to Jesus. One could say that on 1 level it was sensible to stay as a secret disciple, as many persecuted Christians have to do today to avoid arrest, but this is a very special night, one Peter will never forget, and will look back on with deep regret.
“No I don’t know him.” Repeated 3 times before he sees his Master led out from interrogation and hears the cock crow, in some gospels for the second time, as dawn breaks.
How many times have we stayed quiet about our relationship with Jesus, not wanting to make things awkward in a crowd, preferring to leave things open to discussion, rather than come over as ” hard line” or stuffy about moral issues? If I were truly to answer that question I, like Peter, could go off and weep bitterly.
So, Jesus proceeds on his journey to the cross alone, whipped, interrogated, bullied with an agonising crown of thorns placed on his head, mocked and made to carry his cross when he is too weakened to do so. So, it is a stranger, not a disciple, who is enlisted to carry it for him when he stumbles. When friends betray our trust or let us down, we can know that Jesus has experienced that too.and faced much of his most painful time alone.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, in your earthly life you needed friends and steadfast followers. Today you need committed disciples who love you and will remain loyal whatever the cost. Help us to follow you whatever the challenges. Amen