Christmas is not an easy time for people with disabilities or age related health problems. The Alzheimers Society warn people annually that Christmas festivities may adversely affect those living with dementia. Family parties, where people gather who have not met for some time, can create confusion and even distress for the person who has cognitive difficulties. Party games involving memory, a different house where they can’t find the bathroom, and loud noises of hilarity or different music can all add to the problems. And for their carer , who was looking forward to some much needed company, the stress of managing all this for an agitated and confused loved one can lead to a sense of disappointment and let down.
For those who suffer from physical limitations there will be other problems. Travelling can be difficult, and navigating strange stairs and even small steps from room to room. The disabled person may feel unsafe and that they would rather have stayed at home. But if they decided to do that would their carer or family feel they should have made the effort?
Christmas is a time when we often have Great Expectations – nothing to do with Charles Dickens, – but for some it may be time to take stock and re evaluate what happens in our family if some of these problems are developing.
From my time as a carer I know that what I appreciated most was a listening ear, someone who would sit down and talk things through with me, and help me make plans that were realistic, making allowance for my loved one and also for me.
There will be many for whom this Christmas won’t be the time they would have hoped for, or that they used to have. For those of us who celebrate the coming to earth of Jesus, we remember that it wasn’t all as Mary would have chosen – hardly the best time to travel to Bethlehem and find herself homeless and about to give birth, – and for Joseph not the start to married life he would have chosen, charged with looking after a baby that wasn’t his, and unable to have sexual relations with his wife till after she had given birth. God brought them through it though, and he does that for us when we ask for his help, but our expectations have to be set aside sometimes, so that we can rely on him and carry on in his strength.
Perhaps we can pray for those we know who have caring responsibilities this Christmas, and for those they care for. Those prayers will be much valued as I know from personal experience.
Dear Lord, we lift to you those who will be looking after loved ones this Christmas, and may not be able to join in the festivities as they might wish. And we pray for those limited by cognitive or physical difficulties who will need special consideration at this time. May we show sensitivity to their situations and needs. Amen