I am writing this thought knowing that it will come out as we prepare to go into Holy Week. Some of you will already have planned to attend reflective services, where we aim to travel in remembrance with Jesus through this difficult and hugely testing period in his earthly life and others will be doing some special readings in the run up to Easter. In my studies I have been pondering on one particular part of Jesus’ suffering, – the pain of the desertion of his friends at this time.
First of all, the most severe rejection comes from Judas. Known down the centuries as the betrayer, one can simply explain Judas’ betrayal as something that was pre destined, the despicable act which led the Jewish authorities to Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Unable to face what he had done afterwards, Judas hung himself. I have wondered though, just when did things start to go wrong in Judas’ relationship with Jesus? Yes, Judas valued money and didn’t like to see extravagance, as we see when Mary anoints Jesus at Bethany, and he was a thief who helped himself from the common purse. I think though that that was only part of what went wrong in his relationship with the man he had spent 3 years of his life following.
Was there a point at which he became disillusioned with Jesus’ ministry, but failed to talk openly with him about his doubts and questions? Was there an element of his cutting himself off from the other disciples, as they all wrestled with Jesus’ increasingly challenging teaching about himself? All this led to a time when resentment, jealousy and allowing himself to be marginalised within the disciples group, started to be an easier course than honest exploration and questions, unlike Thomas, Peter, James, and John? This then left him open to the devil who entered into his heart, showing him a way that seemed to solve it all, but led him literally into damnation.
I find the moment when Jesus shows that He knows what is going on and gives him permission to leave the Last Supper almost unbearably moving, Jesus is surrendering to his appointed path, and allowing Judas to choose his, but I like to think Jesus would still have accepted Judas back into a right relationship with him at that point if he had been willing. Judas leaves, by then deep into carrying out his own plans, but the parting and betrayal must have hurt Jesus so much.
What can we learn from this story? Most of us will feel we wouldn’t betray Jesus in such an active and pre meditated way. If we study the process that leads to the betrayal however, we may see a pattern of cutting oneself off from fellowship, criticising other Christians and withdrawing into one’s own conclusions, that can lead to an alienation from a faith we once held dear. The devil loves a resentful isolated Christian, and we do well to guard against that position of withdrawal from Christian fellowship, and retreat into our own conclusions, opening ourselves to a course of resentment, alienation and individualism.
Prayer: Dear Lord. As we study the story of Judas help us to resist the temptation to withdraw from your church, from other believers and from trust in you. Help us to share our questions and doubts with other disciples who are experienced in their faith, and to resist the devil and all his works. Amen