Badge testing at gymnastics! 11 challenges of which the granddaughter had to complete 8 to qualify for her first certificate and coveted badge. She had listened really carefully to the instructions, practised at home and warmed up enthusiastically so she was ready and prepared. I watched as one by one she did her stuff on the floor, bars and vaulting horse. It all looked good to me as a proud yet uninformed Grandma. Nothing was said, no indication of success or failure given and we left knowing that next week we would be told one way or another.
The day arrived and we set off in the car. At the session, more skills were taught as we had to wait until the final plenary when all were gathered on the mat with the collecting parents assembled to hear the results. One by one the names were called and the children, mostly girls, came up and collected their rewards. I looked over to the granddaughter. I saw her despondency grow as other names were called out, other children all smiles and grins went up to the front. She glanced across at me, I mouthed ‘You’ll be fine!’ as confidently as I could, inwardly dreading what may happen. More names, more gleaming smiles. Another glance across to me. This time, I winked and put my thumbs up, with a lump in my throat preventing any words from surfacing.
Then finally, after a hesitant stumbling over her name, the call came! Jumping up, smiling from ear to ear I clapped and whooped crazily as she sauntered somewhat embarrassed with that teenagery ‘I don’t really care either way’ face up to the front to collect a stunningly bright orange certificate and badge. The look said ‘I’m not worried, I can take it or leave it!’, her heart said “YES!!!!!”
So often our pride gets in the way. We’re so scared of disappointment or rejection we don’t air our true feelings. Many times I haven’t told someone I love them just in case……I was rebuffed. Many times I haven’t offered support in case….. I was rejected. Many times I wish I had made a visit, sent a card, made that phone call…. Time is too short not to be open and true about the way we feel. God knows anyway…we can always be honest and open to Him but sometimes its hard because we don’t want to appear weak or not in control. We feel especially as Christians that we have to be super human … but that’s not how we were made. In this Lent time, come to God as You are and allow Him to make You whole.