In 2003 a series of 4 TV programmes was recorded entitled “Grumpy Old Men”. The title was taken from the 1997 film which starred Jack Lemmon. In the TV programme, narrated by Geoffrey Palmer, a number of famous men between the ages of 35 and 54 aired their grievances about various aspects of modern life – loud conversations on mobile phones was one of them! – and the programne was so popular that another 4 programmes were made. I suppose its popularity came from the fact that many of the grievances aired were shared by the audience, and people thought of those in their own circle who enjoy a good moan too. While there is a cultural stereotype that paints older men as the culprits, ladies we have to admit we are not exempt!
While it can be quite cathartic to have a moan about the things we don’t like, criticism can easily become personal and that is when it starts to cause hurt and division. I went away on a holiday organised by a U3A group from another county earlier this year. I was allowed to go as companion to a friend although I’m not a member of U3A. A dear man who is over 80 organised it all and generally everything ran smoothly.
On one evening however, he announced that we would make a later start on the coach from our accommodation the next day. This meant our time on 2 special visits was shortened. Several people were airing their dissatisfaction with this decision and I joined in the grumbling. Later, in my room, I realised that I had got caught up in some negativism, for the first time on the holiday. I made the decision to take no further part in such discussions and to make the best of the visits the following day, albeit that we had less time there than I would have liked. I knew I was prompted to make that decision and that it was the right one.
In St Paul’s letter to the Philippians Paul gives the congregation some very practical advice about their relationships with one another – in Chapter 2 of the letter he exhorts them, ” do all things without murmuring or arguing so that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation in which you shine like stars in the world”,
There may be times when we have to speak out about things we disagree with, but in the everyday life of our church congregations and our lives outside the church there is very often a place for standing back from negative criticism, especially if it will cause hurt to others. The TV programme was funny but grumbling can be undermining and divisive.
Prayer – Dear Lord, please help us to guard our tongues when we are tempted to moan and grumble. Help us to be wise about when we feel we must speak up about things we disagree with, and when to be silent and accept the decisions our leaders or family members make.