Love and Fear

Today’s reading from 1 John 4:19-21 says, in verse 18, ‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.’

Many years ago I was in a conversation with a friend which, at the time, seemed almost surreal. In the course of the conversation, the central phrase of that verse was quoted back at me in the context of some difficult circumstances. It was actually quoted in the more traditional wording, ‘perfect love casteth out fear.’ My friend was very afraid.

Hindsight is a great gift, and applying it now, I realise just how fearful the situation was, at the time, for a person whose entire life and service of God was unravelling because of some dreadful mistakes made.

If we stand back from the wording of the entire passage for today it does not say that we who are loved by God will never fear. The ideal is never to fear, but we are work in progress, not ideal, finished articles. We do fear because we have lapses.

My friend could not accept the lapses that had happened, mistakes made. The overall feeling, that I came away with from the conversation, was of someone angry with God for allowing fear to take root. Now I look back after the passing of years and in the light of more experience, I realise that I completely missed a cry for help; I missed the anguished irony of one who was surrounded by the marsh of the ‘slough of despond’, and could not look up at the cross.

Had I have reminded my friend of the frailty we all feel, and pointed out the cross, might I have saved a life? I will never know. All I do know is that fear is all pervading, and fuelled by the sense of failure that is sparked by personal mistakes, it causes us to lose sight of our humanity and dwell on all that seems futile.

I have no idea how you are felling as you read this. You may be feeling lonely and low, or on top form. However you are, for the sake of the memory of a lonely and fearful soul, never fall into the trap of thinking you should be a perfect finished article and therefore a failure. No one is a failure while they have breath, and after that, perfect love takes over.

A Prayer

Gracious God, we have our bleak and lonely moments. We have our fears and we sense our failures, often more acutely than others see them. In your love, give us the grace to understand that we are not finished articles but must come back over and again to be worked on and reminded that we are loved as we live our lives imperfectly.

We ask this for your perfect love’s sake. Amen.