We all deal differently with major life changing events, especially bereavement; some of us cope by keeping busy while others withdraw from busy life. Some of us like to talk about our loss and others cannot bear to hear the name of a loved one who has died. There are no rules and no right or wrong answers.
In the bible passage for today (2 Samuel 18:19-23) there is a question about whether to send a message to King David about a military victory over his enemies. The King is mourning the untimely loss of his beloved son, Absalom. The decision is taken not to send a messenger.
To lose a child is one of the worst sorts of loss, especially when there is suddenness and shock built in to the equation. Absalom was a young man. What would you have thought? Would you have been pleased about the victory as a sort of vindication for your son’s death? Would you not have wanted to know? I think I would have been in the latter camp but it is impossible to be sure.
Traumatic events can have devastating consequences for those who suffer them. We hear about people working in situations of human tragedy, and being irreversibly changed by their experiences. Highly trained service personnel are destabilised by the horrors of war and are never the same again. It is as though nothing is able to protect frail humanity from the reality of mortality.
To be badly shaken by grief and shocked by events may be transformational but there is life beyond awful experiences. We have a loving God, the one whose own Son was crucified, who knows our pain.
Today’s hymn written by the contemporary hymn writer and author, Marjorie Dobson. Its four stanzas move from initial reactions, to emptiness and then the support of friends to the blessing of new hope. The final verse says:
God, hold us, enfold us, till weeping has passed;
When flickering hope parts the shadows at last.
One step at a time you will help us to move
To face new horizons, held safe in your love.
Marjorie Dobson (b.1940)
A prayer
Sovereign Lord, when we are confronted by our mortality or when shock stops us in our tracks, love us we pray. Help us work through rage to the empty place. In the empty place help us be quiet and still and let friends in. May we breathe again, know love again, be hopeful again. Lord Jesus, you gave yourself over to trauma and death for us but you rose from the dead. You have said you raise us with you…now there is hope; and we shout aloud in the moment of the miracle when we know it to be true. Thank you. Amen.