A few weeks ago, I met an extraordinary woman. Let’s call her Jan. She would not see herself as extraordinary, in fact she sees herself as very ordinary. Jan had a troubled adolescence and early adulthood. She discovered boys at 16, or probably before, and found herself pregnant. The father of the child was nowhere to be seen. Her family disowned her, and sadly so did her church! Jan moved away and moved in with her new partner, up in Scotland. She had another child, but sadly the relationship with this partner was very abusive, with alcohol playing a big part in the relationship.
Eventually Jan was able to leave that relationship, and moved down south where she met her present partner some 14 years ago, when she was in her early 40s. Her children have grown up and remained close to their mum, and now have children of their own, who are loved dearly by granny Jan.
When I met Jan, she told me about her job as a “Wellbeing Mentor” for a vocational 6th form college, and how sometimes she wonders whether she makes a difference in those troubled teenagers’ lives. Then she told us about one particular student, and how he always appeared very withdrawn and sullen, angry even. She would spend her sessions with him simply trying to get him to say something, anything. On this particular day, at the beginning of the week, this boy came to his session with Jan as usual, and opened up. That Sunday night he had considered taking his own life, but he knew he had a session with Jan the next day. He didn’t want to let her down. He told her because of his facial appearance, he was Chinese, some of the other students had been making fun of him, blaming him for the “Chinese virus.” He had no friends and no support network and felt incredibly lonely.
Jan listened in silence until the boy had finished. She then simply said, “you must have been feeling terrible, it’s OK to not be OK.”
Jan helped that boy seek professional help, she kept in touch and now he has completed his studies and found employment.
Jan really knew what it was like for that boy, and without her telling him her life story she changed his life. Just by being her she made an extraordinary difference, and I feel so blessed for having met Jan.
It’s amazing how the ordinary encounters in life can have such meaning.
Prayer: Thank you God for those ordinary people who are, in fact extraordinary. Thank you for the differences they make in peoples’ lives by small and simple words and actions. AMEN