Who me?
What am I doing here?
Have you ever suffered from “Imposter Syndrome”?
Surely someone else could do a better job than me?
I’ll mess up, I’ll fail, this is all a terrible mistake?
I remember when I was at university, I failed a respiratory physiology exam and that was the end of my medical career before it had even began! My parents sat me down, and helped me put it all in perspective – this was one small part of the 5-year course, I was not the only one who had failed and there was opportunity to resit the exam. (Which I subsequently passed.)
In the Bible, Gideon certainly had many if not all the characteristics of “Imposter Syndrome” even if he didn’t recognise it as such!
Gideon lived in the time after the Israelites had been brought out of Egypt, around 1100BC. He was chosen by God chose to do his work. Gideon doubted himself, but God knew better.
Gideon was the last person he thought God would call on to defeat the enemy. He was a farmer not a soldier. Yet God called him “mighty warrior.” God saw the potential in Gideon, and had a plan for him.
Yet Gideon questions God. “Where are you God? Have you abandoned us?”
When we are called into service for God, how often do we say, “who me?”
God sees the potential in each one of us, and has a plan for us, if we put our trust in him. God knows what we are capable of even when we think otherwise.
Gideon then spends time making excuses.
How often do we make excuses? I’m not clever enough, I’m not worthy, I’m not important enough.
How often do we ask for confirmation of our calling? If it is me, Lord, give me a sign? Gideon asked not once but twice, quite possibly testing God’s patience.
But God is a gracious God, who understands our self-doubt, who is patient, and who is ever faithful.
So, what are we to do when we are filled with self-doubt? The short answer is trust.
What does trust mean?
Trusting that God knows best. If he calls us, he has a plan and a purpose for us. God knows what we are capable of even when we doubt our own abilities.
We put our trust in a faithful and loving God. We can hand our fears and anxieties to him, rather than let them cripple us and hold us back from what God calls us to do.
So, it’s ok to doubt yourself. Remember God never doubts us, he is ever faithful ever true. AMEN